There Aint no Sanity Clause

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That's hardly going to qualify Sedge :)

Succinct, 4 letter word, relevant.

Coulda beena contender!

(Unfortunately I'm not a contender. All those humid growth hormones they found under the seat of me Malvern Star did me in.)

Here are a couple of early and (at this stage still preliminary) bids from BP Lord Terence, both comemorating the moment old David Flint tapped the mat in this post: http://backpagesblog.com/weblog/archives/000459.html

(1) The first, and working on the start-with-a-serious-grovel principle, is a nomination for the gov himself for the best overall comment, distinguished by a seamless capacity to combine allusions to several memes at once.

(2) The second nomination is for the funniest comment goes to the immediate follow-up from Peter Ransen for showing an uncanny joining ability.
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"David Flint today insisted he had never exhibited any actual bias."

"actual bias"? As opposed to? Non-core bias? Core bias? Bias binding? Bias anothery? ... but it sounds a good epitaph. Deluded to the end.

No doubt we'll bump into him every now and then. A tragic but elegant, more sin-binned against than sinning lonely figure straining against the cold winds of change and injustice as he makes his lonely daily pilgrimage to the Windsor for his mourning Earl Grey with a dash.

An object lesson to all would be cutters and runners.

............

Elegantly dragging a rhinohide briefcase (shot by Rupert while on safari some twenty years ago) with an extenda-handle, forcibly maintaining the aloof air of it not being there at all. Quietly whistling "How Great Thou Art". Wearing a light purple cravat and women's underpants.

............

[ps an italics facility would make this a little easier]

Ed's note: cs. have comments configured so as to allow URLs to be rendered as links, which I think is an either/or trade off which jettisons any HTML like italics, bold etc. (I'm sure someone will enlighten me otherwise.)

Be assured that, at the end of the day, the assiduous Junior Senators from the Marshall Islands, Micronesia and Palau will be able to sift the wheat from the chaff in their quest for the Alpha Commenter.

Just love the language of our times: 'thin, ambiguous and incomplete'. Could be, say, an item in the Personal column of a newspaper

Most vitriolic yet civilised comment?

"why don't you engage me, instead of building strawmen"

"I'd love to be engaged to you, Niall, but mixed marriages rarely work. I'm a male human, and you're a type of speech-capable bacterium. Do you live in straw? Is that why you hate Vietnamese -- because they threaten the straw somehow? Defend the straw!" Tim Blair.
http://www.sauer-thompson.com/archives/opinion/001577.php

http://www.thepoorman.net/mt-comments.cgi?entry_id=2618

It's a fcuking sad state of affairs for the City On A Hill when his Dad and Nixon start looking good by comparison and the best employee hiring option now offered to Americans is: "Vote Kerry. At least he knows his arse from a hole in the ground."

As HL Mencken once said, "Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats."

These are sorely tempting times.

[Nabakov]

"Sorry tim, I'm going to have to sign off on this one for the night. I've got a bunch of people over here, and they're all laughing and drinking and listening to loud alt country music, and I told them the story, and everyone had a good laugh, and now they all want to play with my computer, and they're standing over my shoulder watching me type this, and it's getting out of control, and I'm going to have to shut this thing down and shoo everybody out of the study. Anyway, the point is that, although most of them have come to the surprising view that you're just a dumb right-wing attention-seeker in the blog-jock way (boy have we had some arguments settling that description), strangely enough, two attractive young women like your car. Now they want to know how tall you are, your income range, all about your smoking and general substance taking habits, your favourite positions and your star sign. I've tried to explain to them that blogging's not really about that sort of stuff, but if I don't ask I'm going to have red wine poured all over my favourite books. Over to you me old."

cs - category 3

http://www.roadtosurfdom.com/surfdomarchives/002387.php

Last month Tim Blair went over to Malaysia for the weekend but left a post open for comments. All sorts of weird and wonderful results were generated:

I had a dream that my foot was stuck under the cushion of the sofa and there was a deadly spider suspended on a web about a foot from my face. It was in the process of spinning up an insect in its webbing. This filled me with such anxiety that I woke up and found out that it wasn't a dream. there was a real spider a foot from my face spinning up a fly.

Slapping it away would have been futile because the spider woould have just swung back after the flight being as it was hanging on its web. I struggled to get my foot free, but couldn't.

Then I watched as the spider dissolved. Imagine my relief. It was just an acid flashback LOL.

Posted by: Papertiger at June 26, 2004 at 05:33 PM

(Can I nominate that for 1) and 6)? Yes I can.)

Currency Lad posted in reply to this post by Papertiger:

It was an horrific century, the 200s: violence, calumny, metaphysical drift, man's hatred of his fellow man, invasions, nationalism, totalitarian apologism, triumphant libertarianism, moral crises, religous disputes, a sexual revolution, epicurean luxuriation and an assassination or five.

Notwithstanding all of these sad and bitter moments my friends, we can all join Papertiger in saying:

"I still believe in a place called Dope."

Posted by: CurrencyLad at June 26, 2004 at 11:48 PM

Sorry, didn't realise the html tags weren't going to work. Find the comments here:

http://timblair.spleenville.com/archives/007031.php

TimT. Thank you. Shall sift and sort.
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Quite a number of entries have been emailed directly (an acceptable alternative to posting inthe comments box) to the vice regal pigeon hole inbox which will also be posted on that page.
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Funniest (well today anyway):

Like watching bubbling jelly. Or an eight year old boy, overfed, slightly bulging out of a jeans suit. Baseball cap, proud with irrelevent US team. Toy hair curling machine in the bathroom. Can't go and play because he dot (an imaginary) sore knee. Or a carnival, private and with games and rides, which no one goes to visit. Or a mother's fart, gentle and tepid and still in the lounge room. Or cotton wool with 2 dollar star dust on a bendy stem. Or sausage meat with carrots and peas, like spew, on Good Friday, followed by seconds, and then a too big raspberry milk drink and cream. Or a leaf in permanent descent, fallen from a tree you know not where. Or a bubble bath, without the water, just forgotten suds, from yesterday's washing with it. Or a Humber with a weird automatic gearbox and sloppy steering, in a retirement home suburban street, and a portable cassette player on the back seat. Or a filing cabinet in the storeroom, half filled and unused. Or a beach ball rolling down a meadow, somewhere. Or one of grandmother's paintings, and her doily collection in a cardboard box in the wardrobe drawer. Or an English tailor suit from a second hand shop, cost five dollars, with someone's old shopping list still in the pocket. Or a bottle of red wine left open from the night before, with a snazzy label on it rendered useless by today's contents. Or a fax machine delivering messages from some unknown source. Or a personal letter you get to your address, but some other name on it. Or a butcher's shop selling korma chicken pieces. Or a neon light in a sidestreet factory left on, on a Sunday night as you drive past on the way home from the pictures. Or maybe just a would be who could be and hasbeen who got the job and then the world changed on us all. Yep, he's somethin'.

Posted by Peter Ransen at July 25, 2004 10:18 AM at http://www.roadtosurfdom.com/MOVABLETYPE/mt-comments.cgi?entry_id=2579

The fully formatted nominations has been page updated. (Another dozen or so that have come via email yet to be sifted through, slashed and burned, cut and pasted and eventually posted.)

I nominate your good self of course, GG. In the category of "Funniest" for want of another: funny and literary comic comment vignettes.
Alas I think my fave sedge was in Dec 03 (re trivets) but there are some Condellian proportoned literary and comic flights in '04. Your short puns are just as good of course but these specials are Sedge EP.

How to chose - here are just a couple:

"...The natural habitat of the lesser monogrammed reticulated school cap was the back pocket of the Stamina grey woollen school trousers.
(Said trousers came with wonderfully illustrated sets of cards celebrating "The Wool Industry in Austalia". They were a small compensation for the rite of passage of those who had grown and moved on from short woollen trousers with their sensuous silky lining to the unlined abrasive long woollen trousers (70% Merino 30% Jex) which ensured an intitial couple of weeks of painful chafing to the delicate inner thigh. A rite of frottage.)..."

Posted by Sedgwick at January 14, 2004 08:54 AM

http://boynton.ubersportingpundit.com/archives/004402.html

On mowing:
"...Having destroyed a number of petrol mowers and sustained repetitive repetitive strain injuries I now have a nice girly electric mower. I have eventually come to the stage of being secure enough in my own masculinity to be able to ignore the neighbourhood blokes who look pityingly at me from behind the wheels of their turbo-charged V8 jungle tamers.
It hovers, it glides, it sashays, it jettés. Then there is the living on the edge mowing experience of avoiding running over the 880 yard long extension cord..."
Posted by Sedgwick at February 21, 2004 07:04 AM
http://boynton.ubersportingpundit.com/archives/004856.html

In contrast to the longer flights of Sedge, I also nominate Tony T - (of Aftergrog) aka Pithy or (here) "Emile Z" - for this comment:

Mon ami Paul Cézanne hour eez safer.

Posted by: Emile.Z at January 11, 2004 07:34 PM

in this pun driven thread.

http://boynton.ubersportingpundit.com/archives/004373.html

A good example of "Pithy's" spare art - and a worthy nominee in a category of initiating and driving a funny tangential thread.

Quite fitting that the Gov himself run these awards, because he is a stand alone contributor to comments.

I move that something be done for Sedge in return, on the basis that his comments are engaging and evocative - without to my knowledge one failure or slip up!

His comments to me are Whitlam-with-a-hug and/or Whitlam-without-wind.

Truly up there and down here at the same time.

Damn shame Gough didn't get the benefit of them on the sly late at night at his pm office Acer 486.

This one has to be a contender:

Comment after:
HMAS Puffin'Stuff and other stories.

One would assume the Greens preferences are in the bag.
Not going near the Shooters party thing.

Posted by Peter Ransen at July 24, 2004 01:35 AM

Too easy to pick the later entries, though thanks.

I've been searching for earlier comments and having trouble finding them.

BTW and WTF, keep an eye the Lad.. Posted by: Peter Ransen at July 26, 2004 05:39 AM

(Ed's intervention. Link all fixed, Pierre. Noted the birth notice over at Troppo.)

http://thecurrencylad.blogspot.com/

Thank you, Sir. May I ask respondents to keep an eye on this person. If my memory serves me correctly, this guy moonlights as a cabbie. Took me home once, up the one-way towards the Anzac Bridge swerved right at the time there was bound to be a head on, suckered 'em in through the chicane, left then right, and splayed men and women as we shot past the Fish Markets, passionate people all on their way to play pool at the Piermont Bridge Hotel alnighter. He had to hold me back after some comment he made to the blokes he got me that worked up. Mentioned something 'bout doing the same spreading the pack of sheep outback or something somewhere, trying to get them in the branding yard. Took me lobster for payment and gave me an avocado in return, reckoned he won it racing Singo on the back of Hawkey when they were forced into the straight.

Said the sprinkler would do me good.

Keep an eye on him, I reckon, but geez the guy's got some go.

Overall, my blog has the best comments in Ozplogistan. http://www.johnquiggin.com/

Shameful, Quiggin.

MY blog's got the best comments. Especially those from Texas Hold 'Em and Teen Suck.

My comments are bigger than your comments... just ask the Guvnor.

After himself (I especially liked the recent dig at the new Movie Show that ended 'too stupid for words'.... they appear to have limited their talent search to Newtown and St Kilda) - I'm a Nabakov fan, and who isn't really? Even the people he fillets seem not to get too exercised about it and maybe that's cos he doesn't either, a trait I'm trying to develop, without much success so far. The Bahnisch family produce more than their fair share of common sense too(formidable in tandem, but quite distinct) and I enjoy warbo's little parodies and pastiches.

The worst - Toejam, some fool known only as Fred, anyone on hols from spleenville (including the brief mr blair), parallel, voice of (ha!) sanity.

Bloggers are often great commenters but let's leave them out of it; this is our show.

Sorry I haven't got time to trawl thru archives looking for particular gems sedge.. next year. It has to be said there's often loads of dross and ordure to wade thru first.

Mr. C.

I have been been sent a number of your comments via an email from a waggishly nom-de-plumaged "Warren Peace".

Two consequences:-

(a) my gmail inbox which can store 1 gig of messages is now up to and beyond dolly's wax.

(b) the previous and fast diminishing remainder of my life could be taken up with sifting through the "so big you can see them from the moon" Condell comments. Fortunately Jorgey came up with a practical solution. We shall be outsourcing the task to Professor Godbole, Head Drafter and Archivist of Bylaws and Regulations for the Bombay City Council, for whom your comments will barely make the cut as throwaway one-liners.

There are many great observers from Barista to Gianna to James Cumes to to Scotty McMillan to Nabakov.

I nominate Nabakov because his wordsmithed alphabet seems to be used as retaliation on any thought-provoking website. There is no boundary with the Lolita charged name. If Google is to be trusted Nabakov comments have been read by those on the left as well as the wrong side of the political spin. To boot, he is reproduced, even plagiarised on Antipodean, Amerikan, Asian and even European webdiaries.

Nabakov is almost like the confetti at the Big Greek wedding.

... or the bonbonierie at Connie Corleone's wedding.

Godbole and I go way back, if you let us.

Shpecific examples without the context (some even deleted)

http://www.ubersportingpundit.com/mt-comments.cgi?entry_id=5880#018449

But I only come here for the spam.
Because of those useful consumer information messages, you should see what I can now raise for Geoff's 'penis size for profit' post - thanks to those wonderful people at (deleted).
Posted by Nabakov at May 18, 2004 10:38 PM [permalink]

"..the film’s Sydney premier"
That would be "premiere" wouldn't it?
Unless of course Bob Carr's become more of a blank screen than usual.
Posted by: Nabakov at July 16, 2004 at 03:27 AM

http://timblair.spleenville.com/archives/007190.php#079311

http://www.roadtosurfdom.com/surfdomarchives/002606.php

Prolly category(4) Comment displaying a complete ignorance of the topic upon which the comment was posted. [Though it goes surrealistically beyond that]

A bloke called Evilpundit has been dragging up all sorts of odd links to prove John kerry is unfit to be president because he was a bad soldier. He suggests people read a particular book if they don't agree with his view.

A bloke called snuh gets unreasonably picky ;0)

"a minor side point: i think it safe to say that a serious person would not confidently assert that a book will back them up unless and until they had read the book. you might want to click through that amazon link you posted and check the release date."

snuh really deserves the nomination.